Suicidal

What if I died?
Would you even cry?
Would you even care?
Would you even notice me not being there?
Would you grieve over my death?
I mean really grieve?
Would you even miss me being "the boss"?
Would you really mourn my loss?
You see, I doubt you would.
Because we never really were tight.
We'd bicker, yell, scream, and fight.
I never told you that I needed you.
I thought no one cared.
No one ever said "I love you."
I thought no one was ever there.
Or would you be embarassed?
Be ashamed that we were friends?
Would you be afraid to walk in the hallways?
For fear of hearing or being asked that question
"The one that killed herself, was that your friend?"
What would you say? I wonder.
It doesn't matter though.
I don't know if you need me
or ever even needed me.
All I know is that I needed you, need you, and
will need you.
I'm telling you "I love you."
Because by tommorrow,
I won't be with you.